Ah, yes, revenge is most definitely a dish always best served cold.
Last summer, I rose to my feet at my mate David's wedding and said: 'Ladies
and gentlemen, for the past seven years this man has been my financial adviser.
And that explains why I'm standing in front of you now in a Matalan suit...'
But never mind, folks, after nearly a decade of fiscal mis-management (last
month he advised me to invest in 10,000 free Nelson Mandela T-shirts), I finally
got my own back.
I took him for lunch at The Bizarre Bar in Strathclyde Park. A dish served
cold? More like every dish served deep-fried. But I'll come back to that in a
minute.
The Bar is part of the ever-expanding fairground in Strathclyde Park a place
where a Motherwell man like myself has enjoyed many a white-knuckle ride.
Even if you've never popped in for a shot on the dodgems, it's impossible to
drive down the M74 without noticing the big wheel or the roller-coaster.
What's that, kids? No, I'm afraid it doesn't have a ghost train. Wouldn't
make a profit, you see, by the time the punters from Bellshill had been given
their refunds.
There are plenty of amusement arcades, though, and that's great. After all,
playing fruit machines is the closest any Motherwell youngster will get to
vitamins.
Walking through the doors of The Bizarre Bar (perhaps the name derives from
the fact they want money for the food), David took a quick look round and
confidently predicted: 'So, hot dog in a basket?'
Yes, the menu is pretty much exactly as you'd expect in a place David later
described as an even poorer man's TGI Friday's burgers, fish and chips, pizzas,
an all-day breakfast you get the idea.
Plus, as if to remind patrons this is a Lanarkshire eaterie, I'm proud to say
the menu also includes chips with grated cheese.
There's also a fairly extensive line-up for the kids. Why not do the little
ones a favour, though, and take them next door for a toffee apple or some
candy-floss?
Details
01698 333777
There are plenty of amusement arcades, though, and that's great. After all,
playing fruit machines is the closest any Motherwell youngster will get to
vitamins.
