The three of us were absolutely starving - that wonderful aroma from the
brewery behind Tynecastle does it every time I drive into Edinburgh - and the
soup of the day (vegetable) was an ideal starter. "It's just like the stuff your
maw used to make," said Peter. I disagreed - I thought it was very good (sorry,
mum) and Father O'Flaherty - I mean Chick - also gave it the thumbs up.
In keeping with the old-fashioned theme, the soup was served with two
triangles of pan bread and an individual portion of butter. Onto the sausage and
mash and, boy, this was a real treat. Any one sausage, mash and gravy is £4.50
and any two sausages, mash and gravy is £5.95. Stick with the single portion -
that's all you'll need as what we're talking about are proper sausages.
Yes, they come from Crombie's, but you'd be forgiven for thinking they fell
off the top shelf at Ann Summers. They're certainly not Wee Willie Winkies.
I plumped for Monster Sausage (delicious, herby pork), Peter tried the Auld
Reekie (smoky pork and beef flavour) and Chick sank his teeth into the
Mediterranean (pork with sun-ripened tomato, basil and olive oil).
All three were incredibly tasty and the mash was out of this world. The
Monster Mash is plain and simple with plenty of butter, cream and seasoning,
while the Grainy Mustard Mash will tingle the taste buds. My favourite was the
Champ Mash, with green spring onions and a healthy - or perhaps unhealthy - knob
of butter. Oh, and I'd thoroughly recommend the delicious onion gravy.
This is comfort food at its best and, if you don't believe me, just check out
the desserts. From a list of great British puddings - apple crumble,
knickerbocker glory, bread and butter pudding and Wall's ice-cream - Peter
returned to his schooldays with a fantastic sponge pudding with Bird's custard,
Chick made light work of the chocolate cake with vanilla ice-cream - and, yes, I
had tea.
Look, leave me alone. Last week I bought a pair of breeks with a 32-inch
waist and guess what? Next Thursday, it will be exactly three months since the
last time any wee boys pointed at me in the street and said: "Look, mum, twins
with one head."
Anyway, I was absolutely stuffed after my fantastic sausage and mash (easily
my best main course of 2003, folks) and I urge you to visit this place soon.
Don't worry about the parking - I'll ask Chick to write you a
note.
Open: Seven days from 8am till 10pm.
Bill for three: £27.
Food: 5/5 - happy days are here again.
Service: 5/5 - like a good referee in football, you didn't even know the waiter was there.
Decor: 4/5 - great, but fix the draughty door.
Toilets: 4/5 - small but perfectly formed.
Value for money: 5/5 - top nosh and cheap.
Look-alike: My mate Peter - he could easily be the love child of Carry On star Sid James.
Total: 23/25