Canteens are normally the subject of a right good slagging, so why
you'd want to name your bar after that most sullied of establishments is
well beyond me.
We all know the connotations can be highly unpleasant - that's to say
nothing of school dinner memories.
Considering the ill feeling associated with the word "canteen", it's an
odd choice for a bar name - but it exists in Falkirk.
Despite a wider search of the area, me and my mates couldn't find any
evidence of other workplace favourites Smoking Room, Cleaners' Cupboard
and Toilet in the town.
So we had to make do with the Canny. On the
outside, The Canteen, bathed in purple light, looks far more alluring than
your average workplace soup kitchen.
Down a wee cobbled lane in the heart of the town, the subtly lit den
seemed far more welcoming than the older man's bar next door - The Scotia.
Neon Budweiser signs hang in the windows, with the wooden slat blinds
letting you see just enough of the warm interior glow to make the place
look inviting.
But on stepping inside we were transported to the heart of Tumbleweed
Town.
For a bar with a capacity of a couple of hundred, The Canteen was pure
pan bread - and as stale as a two-week-old loaf of Sunblest.
At 9pm on a Thursday night, there were less than 10 people there. Which
is a bit puzzling. Especially as the website promised a "friendly
atmosphere" with "the funkiest tunes in town." Neither were true, as I
discovered when we came across nearby hostelries Rialto and Behind The
Wall, which had both atmosphere and decent DJs.
Basically, The Canteen is an inoffensive, undemanding,
middle-of-the-road drinking joint. Decent, if you don't mind drinking your
schnapps behind big flouncey peach curtains or on a carpet that looks like
something off the set of Rainbow.
It's big, the prices are as you'd expect, and the variety of bevvy is
just as wide as anywhere else. They've even got a big screen, but there
didn't seem to be any point in it because the sound was down. Besides, who
wants to go down the pub and watch anything other than football?
If Corrie or The Bill were really worth following in a bar, then surely
you'd save yourself the hassle, get a few tins in for the night and stay
at home - with the sound up?
Apparently the latest thing to woo them on Wooer
Street is Club Latino on Mondays, where salsa and merengue lessons are on
offer. Other than that, The Canteen is nothing to spill your soup about -
am I right or a merengue?
Details
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